misunderstandings between yourself and your court
i had a really hard day today. besides the other things happening in my life, it had to do with a harsh scolding i received from my dead Ma'am i usually commune with. after a card reading earlier this week, she let me know she was displeased with me and frustrated with the path i was on. i spent the entirety of friday and saturday morning course correcting and beginning to think about how i can get back into alignment. today (saturday), i did another reading for myself after cleansing my hands and offering smoke and proceeded to get cussed clean tf out. it really hurt, i have an extremely difficult relationship with my living family and it hurt to be spoke to by her they way they talk to me (maybe i'm projecting, idk). anyways, all of this to say, her and i are extremely frustrated with each other. i tried to ask what i can do to please her, ease her frustrations, what would make her happy. and i couldn't understand or she wasn't being clear. i have extremely limited resources right now (unable to practice openly, unable to burn candles, $0 to my name, unemployed, generally struggling. the shadow period for my saturn return is beating the breaks off me tbh) but what actions can i take to try and remedy this relationship?
i have several remaining herbs (lavender, rosehips, damiana, licorice root, a bundle of white sage/rose/chamomile,) a few chime candles (red, blue, black), and my cards. I think having a more experienced reader interpreting her requests could help, i have someone in mind but i have to meet my immediate survival needs and then save up for a reading with her. i recently had a dream of a black panther breaking into my home and relentlessly attacking me no matter how hard i tried to fight it off. based on today's conversation, i now realize it was her and she's been upset with me for a little over a week. any help or thoughts are greatly appreciated!
At the barest of minimums, take down your altar and thoroughly clean the space to clear out any unwanted energies that may be lingering in the area. Reset the altar and take them an offering. Then lay some ground rules on what communication between you and her will be like. Do NOT let your spirits bully you. You don't have to be disrespectful, but always keep in mind that the relationship you have with your spirits should be reciprocal. They should not be running you raggedy, and they should absolutely be helping you come out of hardships so they can get the proper offerings they require. I'm not sure what you practice, but family spirits sometimes need a reminder that they will only receive light + water if they are benevolent, willing to work, come in peace and give clear directions that you can understand. Depending on how old the spirit is, you will need to bring them up to speed about the world YOU live in, because it isn't the same world they were living in when they were alive.
If you Hoodoo, rue + hyssop + agrimony are STRONG cleansers that will clean up any muck off you. But you will need to do an elevation while you take that bath, so you and your spirits can talk, reaffirm your pacts and agreements, and build a better bond.
Always open up your altar space letting it be known you are only inviting your benevolent ancestors who have your best interest in mind. Just because they are family, doesn't mean they can't cause harm, even when they are dead. And if they cause you harm, remove them and don't feel bad for it.
Consult with other spirits within your court as well. Clean your tools well.
I hope you have a better week š«¶š¾š«